Relationships between human beings, animals or even plants can be a powerful way of becoming immersed in your experience and to grow spiritually.

It is indeed one of the most natural ways of feeling in tune with ones surrounding and it also happens to be an important element when it comes to cultivating ones wellbeing.

We cannot escape the fact that we human beings are social animals, even though some may consciously decide to live on a mountaintop or in the forest i.e. in seclusion, this inherent feature of the human organism of wanting to belong to a tribe and community can’t be fully escaped. And I find this to be a beautiful thing.

However if we would turn our gaze towards consciousness, then it is indeed a different matter, where it isn’t limited to the preconditions and constitution of the human organism the same way our personality and identity is. Consciousness itself is supremely flexible and yet somehow perfectly still, though this is a topic which is we will address concisely in the last chapters of this book.

For now, and for the sake of this chapter on relationships as a means of allowing life to be lived more fully is justifiable.

When we are born we are brought into a world of great care (if we are lucky) and surrounded by loving family and relatives.

This sense of community is indeed how most people try to increase wellbeing for them selves, that is by either trying to escape from their psychological noise or to a state they deem to be more pleasant than the one they find themselves in.

For someone wanting to be more immersed in life, relationships are a wonderful way of sharing and growing. This isn’t always the case, as people often see friendships and relationships as a way of letting of steam which they have gathered throughout the day(s).

This is not the way of direct experience, but rather a cheap escape from your crude psychological state of mind. One who is interested in being immersed isn’t escaping for relief, they are rather exploring for the sake of life and experience. There is a great difference there, a difference that makes all the difference in the world.

Tips on Being Fully Immersed Wherever You are

If you have a problem with staying present in certain places and surroundings, perhaps mostly when in contact with other people, here are a couple distinct tips which you can make use of next time you feel yourself being distracted by whatever the distraction. It could be anxieties, stress, overthinking, it doesn’t really matter, you can transcend them all.


You could try with focusing on a certain thing that catches your fascination, it could be a certain feature of the person your talking to, a facial feature or a bodily feature. It could be the sound of a certain syllable or word that the/she pronounces.

Your object of focus could really be anything in the world, except for your overly personal thoughts and identity, that isn’t a good object of focus, unless you are focusing on it with a meditative eye. Oh then it is indeed a completely different matter altogether. and

Furthermore here I am going out a limp with saying that you don’t really have to focus and “listen” on what they say, but I find it much more effective to attune yourself to the energy and vibration which they emanate.

The words that they speak are most-often coming from their own personal projections, so it isn’t that important in the end.

What is important is their Being. Focus on that and witness the transformation happening within you and perhaps within them as well. They might just like you all the more, because you connect to them in a more existential level than a superficial level.


This second tip is the opposite of the first one, namely by defocusing and resting your attention in its source.

Here you simply absorb your entire experience without caring for anything in particular. You welcome the totality of each moment, though it can feel overwhelming at times, you are in reality never overwhelmed.

This second way of being is probably my favourite. It is the main key to the door of perpetual direct experience. It is effortless and smooth.

Life is happening and you are dancing freely in it, simultaneously as you are the witness of all these happenings.

This defocusing is from my perspective, what meditation truly is.

Meditation is about letting go of all effort and resting in your original place.

By defocusing your meditative lens, you become the very meditation itself.

Creative Expression

If you feel distracted or caught in a certain way of thinking or “feeling”. You can easily break this spell by letting your creative powers loose.

Simply flow with the moment, and let your spontaneity be your only compass.

Sing something creative, say something peculiar, move around in complex ways and tell me if you still have this strange problem of not “being present”.

« Chapter VI: Fear and Pain

Chapter VIII: Psychedelics »

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